Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What was the weakest period in US history in terms of military strength? Was it during World War II or the Vietnam War?

The sadness was still there.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

I had run out of hope.

You are like me, then.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Scientists make disturbing discovery in analysis of human bodily fluids: 'Further research is required' - Yahoo

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

And the sadness?

Why do diabetic people sweat so much?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Be who you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why don’t people want the American Dream anymore - marriage, kids, a dog, and the white picket fence?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Why are conservatives banning liberal books? Why are conservatives so offended by the teaching of racism and other topics?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Why are there so many girls and not enough boys to follow?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.